• Hannah Mento

Your Tendency to Expectation

We all have tendencies towards different situations - that is something that builds our personalities, makes us unique, creates relationships with others alike and unalike.

For most of us, following through on simple expectations are not as easy as flipping a coin. Knowing your tendency or the tendencies of others will help you move forward in your career and relationships because you can put yourself in a position where you have more influence over the outcome. You can be a better team member, manager, employee, sister, brother, spouse etc.

There are inner and outer expectations surrounding us everyday. Inner expectations are ones we put on ourselves (i.e. I am waking up tomorrow morning at 5:30am and going to the gym). Outer expectations are put on us by others (i.e. a deadline your manager gives you on a project or your mom telling you how much it would mean for you to be at the family dinner).

You respond to these expectations different depending on your tendency.

Gretchen Rubin created the Four Tendencies to help people understand their natural tendencies to expectations put on them by themselves and others. She found the Four Tendencies in her happiness research. They relate to happiness because it causes stress to have little control of the outcome or be let down by yourself or others.

I took the four tendencies quiz (at the bottom) with the intent of already knowing how I react to expectations. I found out something new about myself which cleared up a lot of past events in my life.

Then I asked all my family members to take the quiz which ended up being a hilarious game trying to figure out who responds to what expectations and why. Dad, if you're reading this, I haven't forgotten you haven't taken the quiz :)

The Four Tendencies:

1. Upholders want to know what should be done. They respond well to inner and outer expectations

2. Questioners want justifications. They only complete inner expectations. It complete and outer exp. they need to somehow build an inner argument for why they should complete it.

3. Obligers need accountability. they only complete outer expectations set by others. Tip: find a buddy if you personally set an expectation.

4. Rebels want freedom to do something their own way. Their response to expectations is random. There is little consistency in why or when they complete inner and outer expectations. This doesn't mean they are lazy or unproductive. There is just no pattern.

Do yourself a favor and take the quiz. You too, Dad <3

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